Tea and Stones

I was corresponding with a man in another state (1979-80), and he sent me a jewelry box that he had made himself. It was knotty pine, with felt lined drawers, a secret place that if one didn't know it was there...they wouldn't know it was there. It was fair size at 12" long and 6" wide, and about 6" tall. It was routed, sanded, varnished, with pretty brass latches and knobs. My name was burned into the lid in Edwardian Script.

He then sent me a letter that said, "I am with you, woman...be with me". And I was not.
He told me fabulous stories, and tickled my mind with sweet teases. I don't remember his name, but I think it was John, and his last name started with a W. He was in Santa Fe.
It was a bad time to be in Santa Fe then. I was in California. I didn't love him like I did Kenny, but I was sincerely fond of him. He was so poetic...reminded me of Rod McKuen. Specifically "Listen to the Warm". Any Rod McKuen fans? Kahlil Gibran? Karen Armstrong?
Ah those were the days...

I wasn't going to meet Kenny until much later, so it wasn't a comparison at the time. Kenny is no longer in the world, and neither is Chris, and now Danny.

Sweet Pea is such a big boy now. He has a black heart over each eye. He is such a pretty bunny. He greets me. But of course! I feed him. =) What a smart bunny he is.
I have to leave to go to that place. I have decided that working half the time, for the same amount of money, or more...would be far better than these horrid hours.

Don't pass judgement

Consider how much energy, emotion, and personal time it takes to create a judgement. Then consider the terms and conditions of that judgement. Ah, and consider then the long term effects of that judgement.

Don't pass judgement...Love thy neighbor today =)

Being over 50!

Arghhh

I got distracted after expressing that deeply heartfelt "arghhh" by something on television. The players in the major american auto makers are closing down out local franchises. The franchisers are taking them to court in an effort to keep their franchises. I wondered how my 21 year old daughter was able to walk into a dealership, up to her eyeballs in debt, he outgo is more than her income, and come out with a new Nissan Versa. I get the feeling that is Nissan's version of the Ford Escort, but it is a nice looking car, compact but nice and roomy on the inside. Wa has the four door sedan in champagne, which looks so much nicer on that shape than blue or red. White or black would go well too. I'm thinking it has something to do with her age, he's a young salesman maybe, he's talking real nice to her I know we can get this for you. I'll just call in a favor." Interesting. Now I'm thinking maybe these guys want to sell their stuff, make a profit if they can, before the other shoe falls.

Been thinking about a new car. This may be the time. The victims so far are Jeep/Chysler and Buick dealerships.

The arghhh is because I went out to feed those cats that Wa rescued and brought over here with her, and opened my eyes to see a neighbor cradling me in his arms. Oh my! I fainted and fell down the stairs. The man was nice enough to help me in the house. Once situated on the sofa, I called my job, and called my doctor. I saw him, he says my heart is nice and strong, my blood work looks good...so he thinks it has something to do with the tumor. Apparently two serious 5+ day migraines within three weeks, and my nose running when I bend forward or even just tip my head forward, are signifiers. He has ordered a c.a.t. scan for Tuesday. I work tomorrow, but off on tuesday and wednesday. So I dunno. But the fall, oh my lands, I have spots on my body that hurt like the dickens because of that fall! My right hip, knee, ribs, elbow and breast, and a place on my left butt cheek. ow...ow...ow...ow...

I want to keep my job at least long enough to collect the first perfect attendence bonus. Maybe a quality call bonus too, eh? It's a tough job, made tougher by too many "experts" with conflicting methods of application (in many cases). I feel like a tug toy sometimes.
I have to say something here though...

Think before you buy
Read the Terms and Conditions before signing the credit card slip, or clicking submit

*whew*

Goodnight, sweetheart...and from now on, especially if you are over 50...hold the railing. =)

Merry Christmas everyone!

Going to a temperary staffing agency this morning to see if I can get on at DTR, or anywhere. I have a LOT of applications and resume's out, but until I hear from folks I have to maintain my residence, and maybe my stove (still making payments). When I get back on my feet I may invest in a little camper to put in the back yard for the next time one (or more) of my children need a free place to live.

Off I go....wish me luck, eh?

http://www.kenlauher.com/daily-wisdom/bid/27143/?t=633962462545792268#comment51944

Still doing homework...*yawwwwwwwwwwn*

Took Syl's advice and put in an app with ACT (call center) in Johnson City. Thanks Syl! =)

Saw this on twitter this morning, downloaded the free book (really free) and it looks interesting, so I thought I'd share.




I have to go to the dump...

Looking for a job
put in applications/resumes everywhere I can think of over the last three weeks
not being very picky about it either
had three interviews: too old, too educated, and over-qualified
*sigh*
I am hopeful, that with so many applications submitted that something will come through.

On the light side:

Long ago and far away in a land not all that far from here a woman stood in the laundry room of her home touching her belly gently with palm resting against the still flat muscular surface and asked God not to take the child growing within away from her. Just two weeks before she had miscarried a tiny little 12 week old fetus, and wept. Then as the doctor examined her before sending her to the O.R. for the D & C, he paused and sent her to Ultrasound instead. There she saw another baby, still very much alive, with a tiny little undeveloped fist up to his face. The technician asked the mother-to-be, who was in awe of what she was seeing on the screen beside her, if the baby was a boy or girl. Oh, he's a boy...all I have is boys. The technician smiled and finished the ultrasound by allowing the mother to listen to the heartbeat of the fetus. ...what a miracle... she thought, still in awe of what had happened in the last 24 hours. The doctor cautioned her to be very careful, no stairs, no lifting, no driving her car because it was manual shift, and NO stress. The lost baby's water was still draining, and the placenta of the baby that remained rested over the cervix, not yet completely closed. Another miscarraige could happen.

I l-o-v-e-y-o-u you're all of my dreams come true, from your cute little nose, to the tips of your toes, I l-o-v-e-y-o-u...

It was a very long pregnancy, but the mother enjoyed every moment. She put a headset to her belly and introduced the growing baby to Pachelbel's Canon in D, Bach, Hendel, Wagner, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Yanni, and Disney. She would pour warm, and cold water over her belly and name it, and read stories aloud by Dickens, Moore, Howatch, and Caldwell, Disney, and the Bible. She would massage her belly gently to calm herself, and her growing baby.

At 20 weeks there was another ultra sound, but the technician volunteered nothing about the sex of the baby except to again ask the mother what she thought the baby's gender was. The mother maintained that the baby was a boy. She bought a bassinet with a soft white liner, a pastel green quilt, and a little blue sweatshirt hooded jacket. The newborn's clothing was kept very generic. Having three grown sons allowed her to be reasonable, so the nursery was stocked well with diapers, gowns, baby booties in white, pastel blue, and green, newborn snapside undershirts, towels, washcloths, oil, cornstarch powder, baby bath, comb and brush. Receiving blankets, crib sheets, pads, and quilts were on a shelf just inside the door over the dresser.

At 35 weeks the last ultra sound was done, and the technician again smiled and asked the mother about the baby's gender. "It's still a boy" she said with a smile. To which the technician replied, "Well, if it's a boy, it's going to be an awful shameful little boy", and pointed out the obvious on the ultra sound. The mother's hand went to her mouth, which at this point formed a perfect "O", and she started weeping.

October 31st, her due date, came and went. She continued talking to her baby, massaging her belly gently, frequently, and when asked if the baby was late she would patiently reply, "God is putting the curls in her hair". Dr. Liang saw the delay a bit differently and told the mother that he would be inducing labor the tuesday following her weekly examination (Friday). She didn't sleep a week that Monday night, and reported to the L&D room at 0700 tuesday morning. They set up the i.v., started the drip, and she settled in, asked for a cup of coffee, which they gave her, and turned on the news. The contractions started immediately.

Ann, the nurse that had led the Lamaze class, was her delivery nurse. Ann came in around 1300 with a long plastic tube that resembled a very long crochet hook. "We have to break your water", she announced while assisting the mother to reposition. As Ann inserted the tube the mother groaned in pain and eased back against the headboard of the bed while gripping the side rails tightly. Between deep breaths she said in a low serious tone, "This better not hurt my baby, Ann". Ann responded with reassurances that the mother, quite frankly, did not hear.

At 1530 Ann announced that the baby was crowning and it would only be a matter of minutes. The mother was exhausted at this point and asked for water. They offered her sprite, which she immediately spat out into an emesis basin. She wasn't thirsty, her mouth was dry and she wanted to wet it. The contractions were back to back with no time to rest or recover between them. She put her hand to her belly and massaged it gently. "I am right here with you baby, be strong" she whispered. At 1613 her 9 lb. 3 oz. baby girl was born. Dr. Liang lay the baby on the mother's belly, and the mother immediately took her baby up into her arms, wrapping her in the blanket over her belly in the process, and put the little baby girl to breast. She took it eagerly, and when one of the assisting nurses rushed to the bedside to take the baby, Ann and Dr. Liang said in unison, "let them be".

Oh what a beauty the little girl was with her dark oh so dark blue eyes, and pretty olive skin. She seemed so alert, and so content to be in the world. The woman thanked God for this wonderful gift, and for hearing her prayer.

Tomorrow my baby girl, Wa, will be 21 years old. She wants an ipod, or a tattoo (a treble clef). I am baking her a strawberry cake. A landmark in time. I feel so blessed to be sharing this with her.

It looks like life might just back to normal around here...
I say this as I look over at Sweet Pea watching me type from his kennel in...my kitchen. I have to say, however, he's neat, he's polite, easy to care for, loves to get brushed, not demanding, and since I introduced him to the bunny in the mirror, he isn't quite as lonesome as he seemed to be before. He plays with that mirror bunny, but not too crazy about the prospect of sharing food with him. =)
Wa is focusing on career, and making plans for her "21". She's a pretty smart cookie, and through her trials and life lessons, she seems to have a pretty good handle on how to get through the rough spots with a minimum of trauma and anxiety. I was talking to her today and she put my mind at ease. Hey, I'm a mama, so I worry. *shrug*
Thank you for the Happy Birthday wishes, I had dinner with Wa, Danny, and his family. We played "Apples to Apples" and if you haven't played it, get about 4 or 5 of your friends together and do...it is a RIOT!!! Danny made his specialty (Ma's Calico Chicken), and it is delish...and a Cheerwine cake, which I understand is similar to an Orange Crush, or Coca Cola cake, but it has a distinctive cheerwine taste, very light, moist, and really good. Ma gave me two varigated African Violets...just beautiful!
Wa gave me one several years ago for Mother's day, and I had to look it up online to figure out how to take care of it. It is still beautiful and healthy, so I guess Ma decided I could be trusted with these two pretty babies. I have them in the same window with the one Wa got me, which blooms dark purple. These are pink and white (double flowers), and purple and white (single blooms). Wow!

I have to go to the SS office in the morning. Nothing bad, just have to do some paperwork, have to go to the dump, post office, and pick up some dog food for the big girls. Those kittens are getting big, all outside, and faring VERY well. Gooch stays out with them most of the time, but as the weather gets cold, he has to come in. He gets achey in cold weather. Do you believe he is six years old already???? It just doesn't seem like it's been that long. A lot has changed this year, and now we just have two months left of it.
I turned 58 today, and I'm okay with that (really), but it seems like time is going by awfully fast these days.

A couple of years ago Kel suggested that I consider becoming Catholic. I poo pooh'd that one, then. I started RCIA classes a little over a month ago. I enjoy the classes, really enjoy Mass, and I am thinking about applying for a teaching position in the catholic school. That is down the road a bit, though. Right now, I have a job lead at an Ingles sub-store that is opening up here in Greeneville, and they are taking applications at the store on the 2nd and 3rd of November. I will be in line early in the morning on the 2nd. =)

Life is better...

That means no heartburn for me. *whew* I breathe so much easier without the fire.

Thank you Sigga (for the gift), Danny for the chicken casserole (and recipe), the cake (it is wonderful) and making the day a happy one, thank you Wa for being such a bright light in my life, My mother (who called to sing me happy birthday, Judy (my sponsor) for including me in the double anniversary, and birthday cake and coffee before class last night, Susan, Seagulleagle, and Sylvia for sweet birthday wishes. Being 58 isn't bad at all...and truth be told, I hear that a little touch up with some Garnier Fructise, and 58 looks 40'ish. =) Okay...Garnier Fructise and walking 4 miles a day.

Goodnight, sweetheart...Goodnight

Moments like this make it all worthwhile... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKrwtPmVwG8

Buddha left us peacefully, yesterday afternoon. Wa and I buried him on the sunny side of the shed and today I planted some yellow mums on his grave. He has been a member of our family since he arrived as a hatchling in July 1999. He's been a good friend, not just to Wa and me, but to Isobel (who some will remember gave him a black eye when she was still an itty bitty, and thought his tail was a teething toy), and Gooch, who shared the bean bag with him on many occasions. He crawled in bed with me on cold nights, and his favorite place to doze on a warm afternoon was on the "Classics" shelf of the bookcase in the livingroom. He was busted coming out of Wa's room wearing a black thigh high, and nearly drowned Gooch when he walked on his head on the way to his salad bowl, while Gooch was getting a drink at the water bowl. He knew his name and would come when called, had his own hibiscus tree, log, food dish in the kitchen, and liked to watch t.v., eat yogurt, and couldn't say no (ever!) to fresh canteloupe. It is so difficult to say goodbye...I am missing him so very much...

I was sitting on the side of my bed yesterday morning, Sophie woke me up jumping over my head after Bella, and as I stood to officially begin the day, I realized that a trip somewhere sounded awfully nice. I am not adjusting well to the two adult children living with me not paying rent but enjoying everything I have and demonstrating some inconsideration and disrespect experience. Or...maybe I could move...*sigh*

In conversations with Mike these days, since he graduated rehab, there is an easy exchange, he nods and responds intelligently and non defensively. I like that a lot. I think Jess needs to learn a few lessons too. His life is easy, in California, and here. Not as much here, as California, but it's still easy. My Wa...she is sooooo spoiled. "What are you makin me to eat?",she asks. At which point I should remind her that she is grown and I trust her to use the stove and sharp objects without negative incident. Yes I should have because grownups acting like children just doesn't wash.

Wa picked Jess up from work last night. I had given him $3 to pick up some Dawn dishwashing detergent. He said, "naw Mom, I've got it", but I gave him the $3 anyway. When Wa called me I reminded her to stop on the way home so Jess could run in the store and get some Dawn. Did they get it? Nope. Did they stop and rent movies? Yeah.

Buddha's prolapse is poking back out again. I've been giving him sprouts (alfalfa and bean), romaine, and northern beans. I am going to pick up a canteloupe today for him. I have the KY and gloves for easing it back in. At first it was awkward and wierd, but now, because it is in his best interest and keeps things moving normally, I do it without that ewwwww feeling. If he can't move things normally, then he would require surgery to tack the intestine to the inner wall. The surgery is very painful and the recovery rate is extremely low (Crestview vet). Doesn't sound good does it? Not to me either. Buddha and I have been friends for 10 years...it doesn't seem long enough, but I'm grateful for it.

Taking the break from school, just until October 13th, feels a little bit like freefalling. Wow...where did all this time come from? Stress has fallen away from me like heavy clothing. I sat on the sofa with Sophie and Isobel, sipping Numi Moroccan Mint tea steeped with Stash White tea and a dallop of honey, watching a movie...without guilt (e.g. thinking If I write the intro and address the first two points tonight then I can address the second two points, start and maybe finish the conclusion, and respond to at least two DQ posts tomorrow night...) through the entire movie, and checking the clock constantly. I didn't fall asleep. Therefore, now I wonder if falling asleep during movies, concerts, conversations, is a sign of stress. Someone will argue on behalf of boredom. I disagree. When I am bored I seek something that stimulates my interest. I am looking for something to do. It is not my nature to sit down with a sigh of exasperation and take a nap. When stressed, I think it is important to find a way to slough it off. I have some firm resolves in place for when I go back to school. At the top of the list is letting my two adult children that live with me know that school is a priority to me, and quiet study time is a must have, and will be expected during the time I have set aside for that, non-negotiable.

Sunday...I'm up at dark thirty, no Dawn to wash the dishes with *harrumph*, I think I'm gonna lay back down for an hour. Or at least until it's light outside. *stretttttttttch*

“Do not for a minute feel proud about doing someone a favor. In truth what you are doing is paying back an old debt to those who served as your mentors” (Levine, R., 2009).

Altruism

I think some are born with it (e.g. Mother Theresa, Ghandhi, the Dalai Lama, et al). Or perhaps we are all born with it, but like premonition, and communication that precedes human language, that altruism natural to us all is crowded out and ultimately surpressed by influence and human language development [in most cases]. After reading the quote at the top of this page I realized that I have thought in the past that I am altruistic capable and possible on more than one occasion. I was right and wrong. I am altruistic capable, but true altruism is possible as the result of an evolved state of realizing the power of that quote. I have some work to do.

This has been an interesting with painful moments kind of month so far. Today I lost a burden, and while not quite sure how I actually feel about it, the surface response is one of timorous relief. My intentions were not people oriented, they were animal rescue this is a life that deserves to keep living oriented. The dog wobbled into my yard, which is a reasonably long distance from his yard across and down the road and collapsed (covered in blood) at my feet, was obviously in big trouble, the depth or extent of which I was not authorized to determine, and I took him to my vet. I took the vet’s card to the owners of the dog that afternoon, July 31st, and they called today (for the first time) to check on the dog’s status. Wow.

I signed off as the responsible party during his first week there, and he was taken by a rescue. His back was riddled with holes, with a result of several layers of dermis and stuff coming off to the extent of an area from his neck line to within an inch or two of his tail and more than five inches wide. He also had an infection that was resistant to antibiotics. Did I do the right thing by taking him there? Should I have carried him across and down the road (he weighs in at 72#) so “he could have died in his own yard for free” (statement made by owner’s mother).

If I had brought him over and dumped his bloody body in their yard, back riddled with holes, his breathing labored, he would have died before they got up that morning and noticed him in the yard, and I regret that being the first sight the little children who reside there would see that morning. I also admit to being just a little bit afraid of those people. The woman reminds me of the “mother” in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the movie. The two sons, that I have seen, have a rather shiney stare when looking at me, that I suspect is always there. The blonde has lightning bolts tattood on his neck, probably jailhouse, and licks his lips a lot. The brownette is thin and sickly looking, and like his blonde brother, has very rotten teeth, green and black.

So they were upset because I took him to the vet, which I suppose may be an indication that a vet visit would not have been in his future had I not taken him myself. He would have died within 24 hours. When I got him to my vet Fred was very close to renal failure. He was toxic with infection, that had spread throughout his body.

So what kept him going? That boy is always just so happy to be alive! He just gets along with everyone, and he came to me for help. I had to honor that request. Twenty Two days later I am happy to report that his kidneys are functioning, but still under close watch, a new antibiotic has been introduced and the infection is responding, and he is currently being coo’d and cuddled by the staff of the rescue vet in another state, where he will be in treatment and after care for the better part of the next year. When I know that in my awareness, I then feel justified in my actions. When I think about the level of ignorance and not caring the people who owned that dog live on…I become a bit uneasy.

I am paying my karmic debts. Altruistic? Maybe not exactly, but we all have to start somewhere.

Took Buddha to Crestview Vet today. I don't like the man, I won't lie, and I'm not convinced that he knows as much as he wants one to think he does. He told me today that the reason iguanas don't live beyond a year is due to lack of proper care and improper diet, and that Buddha suffered his prolapse due to improper diet. What he didn't know is that Buddha is well over a year old, he is ten years old, and I have had Buddha since he was a two week hatchling. I've read Hatfield's Big Green Iguana Book (available at Amazon.com) and learned a few lessons along the way. He is big, beautiful, green, and he suffered a prolopse because he ate some purina healthy choice little bites. Yeah. I told him all of that during the preliminary conversation, and during the exam. THEN he told me I might need to feed Buddha a little MEAT sometimes. I'm thinking NO. He gets protein from vegetables, vitamin A, C, calcium, and he takes Calcium with Vitamin D. He gets lots of sunshine, with shade when he wants it, and in the winter he has a daylight and a nightlight. This boy eats lima beans, peaches, kale, mustard greens, collard greens, turnip greens, arugula, northern beans, October peas, blueberries, romaine, butter lettuce, spring mix (which includes a mix of baby greens such as oak, radichio, and others, but no spinach. He eats green beans from the garden (raw), peas, carrots, red pears, apples, canteloupe, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, peaches, mango, papaya, and sometimes will steal a little bite or two of yogurt. He loves zucchini and yellow squash, softened sweet potatoes and butternut squash. I had some egg plant sliced the other day (for eggplant lasagna) and boy decided he would try a piece. He didn't like it. *wink*
Now that the prolapse is IN and looking very good (he passed gas), we celebrated with some dandelion greens, collard greens, and alfalfa (rabbit pellets). I am looking forward to the next ten years with my beautiful green boy.

Fred is doing well, although his back actually looks worse now than it did in the pictures, however, that is part of the process. The hydrobaths are cleaning all the yuck out, I guess. Here is a cool song someone sent me, that I thought I might share with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FV7aLCrgX0

I have to get some shuteye. Don't let the locusts keep you awake, eh?


]

I went to visit him Friday, and he wiggled, he waggled, and he peed on my white tennis shoe. He gave air kisses galore and plopped down on the floor for some chest scratches and ear rubs. He's been rescued by an organization that prefers to remain anonymous to protect him, and allows them to focus on him. I think that is awesome. He will be in treatment and aftercare for the better part of a year (at least). His hair may not grow back, but he won't care. He knows he's got it made now.
Further, supporters and friends of East Tennessee Pit Bull Rescue (http://www.etnpitbullrescue.org) have contributed to pay Dr. Woolsey's bill, to Dr. Woolsey, and to ETPBR via paypal, which will go to the balance of Dr. Woolsey's bill, and forwarded to the rescue for his ongoing treatment. He gets the chance to have a loving and forever home...and I think he knows it. He is just so happy to be alive!

Wow

I feel so honored to have been a little part of that.

So that's that...and now I have to get my tail in gear and focus on my studies. We're getting close, eh?

G'night sweetheart..........goooooooood night! *muah*

I got home this afternoon and he had prolapsed again. I worked with him for a little bit, but it was painful for him so I stopped. I have one of Isobel's diapers on him...the pad soaked with water to keep that area moist. I'll give him a cool sugar bath in the morning, then try again to encourage retraction. He didn't eat this morning, he just messed up his romaine/kale salad.

Something is wrong with this space...place...in my time somehow...maybe. I have to really pay attention to what I am thinking, how I am responding, the level of my sincerity, and what I am dreaming. I know that may sound a little bit whacky to some, but the truth is that dreams are the highway of communication from the subconscious to the conscious, and provide a continuous flow of information throughout our lives. So I am an effort to pay closer attention toward recognizing something I am doing wrong...so I can fix it. I want Buddha to be well. And I want great things for Fred...like a forever loving family to love back. He really is such a good boy and really deserves that experience. I want to be well. I want to be in a perpetual state of wellness. I am in a perpetual state of wellness.

In "The Secret" (Byrnes, R. 2006) the speakers promote imaging what one wants, as though one already possesses that want. I was fired up for that...sat down in a comfortable position...closed my eyes and took a deep cleansing breath...I saw my truck. It takes time and practice to get that imaging thing down so fine that when you open your eyes you are disoriented. I am almost there...oh yeah. So when I say that I am in a perpetual state of wellness, that is what I am imaging perpetually. Try it with something. Do something small. Image someone buying you a cup of coffee, see that someone's hands passing the coffee cup to you, feel the warmth of the cup on your hands, sigh with the feeling that accompanies the gratitude for another person's thoughtfulness and inspires one to smile sincerely. Image like that. My practice imaging was just what I recommended above, and two hours later one of the waitresses had her husband bring both of us a cuppaccino. I do the traffic signal thing too, and it works about 90% of the time. So what I'm gonna have to do is go and sit in a brand new black Ford Explorer and get the feel of the wheel, the view of the dashboard and through the window, over that bonnet...then work on imaging. Belle, my Ranger, will be the farm truck. I image being on my own farm allll the time. I have chickens, a beautiful herb garden and wonderful shade trees, flower beds here and there, a barn and a pond, and a veggie patch...oh that makes my heart go pitter pat a bunch of times. =)

Several things have been out of whack lately, not just Buddha and Fred. My money from school is screwed up because of schedule changes, these little kittens, that are adorable, playful, healthy, and each incredibly unique...that are wearing me out. They want to be outside, and I want them to be outside...but they have to get their shots first. I don't want them to get sick. I had an argument with Wa. *heavy sigh* I don't like it, but I don't accept disrespect. I can't seem to get any coordination and/or cooperation with getting the yard done, and that is getting on my nerves. So I must break this cycle of....less than positive experiences and get things back on track. Sheesh!

Do the imaging thing for something and get back to me on it. "The Secret" is a cool tool to get you introduced to some simple and highly effective exercises for life! I highly recommend it.

I've been up since 0200, and I am falling asleep here. G'night sweetheart...gooooood night!

With a little love, some serious effort on Buddha's part, and lots of vaseline and gentle massaging in the right direction on my part the prolapse has gone back in!!!!! HOOYAH!!!!


Buddha is back in his kennel on his log, and I am going to bed. 0200 comes early, yanno?


g'night sweetheart...GOOD night! =)

The prolapse is not going back in. I am keeping it moist, and put a little lubricant around the vent opening, and Buddha gets up on all fours and will work on pulling it back in from time to time. I'd say it isn't comfortable and the effort may be pretty exhausting to an old guy. Buddha is 10 years old (this July just past). He is sleeping now, on his hot water bottle...has worked his way out of the diaper (one of Isobel's for when she has that....time). She doesn't like them either.

I need to get some sleep. I have to write a paper tomorrow, and then Our Hostess/Waitress has to be at the restaurant at 0515 Monday morning...trudge...trudge...trudge...

The photos may be disturbing to some, and are not easy to look at even for those not faint of heart. He is doing well, the infected skin is sloughing off with the hydro baths, and he remains the loving boy I have known for the last year. His kidneys are holding up (after coming perilously close to shutting down), and he remembers his training. I gave the command to sit, down, and stay when I went to visit yesterday, and his reward was the "Awwwwww Fredddddyyyyy...", from the vet techs, with lots of hugs and smooches. The red skin in the photo is the healthy under skin that will heal. He may be scarred because his hair may not grow back on the area damaged by the infection. There is a resistant flap on his back (toward his rump) that is still a little pussy, but overall he is doing great. He is still on I.V. fluids and antibiotics. How long he will be in the hospital is unknown, but when it is time for his release, I am hoping there will be a loving and forever home waiting for him. Do I believe in miracles? You bet I do!

The photos ( here )

During all of this Buddha has suffered a prolapse. It is something similar to a hemmoroid coming out, but his stuff comes out with it. With cool sugar baths (recommended by Melissa Kaplan, herp expert) and keeping it moist, it has reduced in size dramatically, but hasn't gone back in yet. If it doesn't go in by Monday, it will be a visit to the herp vet in Johnson City.

.......ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

...unbreak my heart, say you love me again, undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door and walked out of my life...

I think all of my dogs are incredible and wonderful...and their behavior is not always perfect. Pit Bulls come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. One trait remains consistent, however, and that is their naturally humble nature. They are trained, in cases of aggressive or offensive behaviors, to be that way. That aggressive/offensive behavior is against their nature in the majority. There are a few cases, as in other breeds and/or breed combinations, where aggression is apparent within the first six weeks. Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer, works with dogs that are naturally aggressive and demonstrates very positive lifelong results. Unless the dogs are being trained as soldiers, why are they trained to attack, maim, or kill another dog, other animals (with the exception of large game hunting dogs), or human beings? Living free in nature, the more aggressive breeds live in communities, hunt for food, have an echelon of command in the community, and are expected to behave within certain community guidelines with punishment from the pack leader commensurate with the offense. Fred is not aggressive.

As I stated in previous posts, I have observed Fred's human boy grab him roughly by the ear and lead him away, but it was a neighbor who told me that both father and son beat Fred with a chain. I have seen welts across his back, wounds to one or the other of his ears, and bloody cuts on his rump, and other areas of his body. Is this an indication of beating? Or could it be a dog that shimmies under fences, wanders in cow pastures, through blackberry thickets (and these are in plenty around here)? I don't know. But when I told Shawn where Fred is and what the doctor said, he had tears in his eyes.

I clean a house on Wednesday's for $25. I took the job because I needed the money to make ends meet. I understand being behind on things, and having to sacrifice, but Fred is a good dog, and I think good dogs deserve a chance. I am going to give that $25 a week to Dr. Woolsey for Fred. I've been given chances, unconditonally, and helped through what seemed like impossibly difficult times, for a long time. Therefore,I am doing this so that when he is well again, he can return to his family. I will encourage them to value the life that almost slipped away from them. The blessing in that case will be on all of them with another chance to have a wonderful and lifelong relationship.
I thought about talking to Shawn about what I was told, and then decided not to because if it were not true he would distrust his neighbors, and I don't want to be responsible for that.

Our Waitress who then became Our Cook, then Our Dishwasher, will start a new position in the morning as Our Waitress/Hostess in charge of the register and tables 1 & 2. The new class starts Tuesday, and time gets scarce for anything but the restaurant and school for the next five weeks.

That's the thought and the news as of today. I'm going to study now.

G'night sweetheart...g'night